Survivor Lessons

I have to admit I am a real Survivor fan. I have watched the show for many seasons and I find it a fascinating study of leadership (good and bad) and followership (good and bad). The show is filled with crazy team challenges, small group alliances and tribal councils. Most of the contestants play a game filled with ethical compromise, dishonesty, and questionable strategy. The game has virtually no rules and the goal is summed up in the show's three word motto: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. There are rules, however, to each challenge....some times the challenge is for a reward..... and sometimes the challenge is for immunity. Immunity keeps the winner safe at tribal council where one of the players is voted off by the other tribe members. All goes as normal until ten people remain, then those contestants voted out form a jury. The final three players then face the jury and the jury votes to decide the ultimate winner of the game.

I find it so interesting that the players strategize in amazing ways (some lie, flip on a promise, and blindside a member of their alliance) just to stay in the game another week. BUT... when it comes to their decision as a jury member, everyone looks for the person who has played the most ethical game and they condemn the player whose has lied the most and betrayed their confidence.

Russell Hantz, from Dayton, Texas, is a prime example of this phenomenon. Russell appeared on back-to-back seasons. He made it to the final three during both seasons. Russell controlled the game from day one until the final tribe member was cast to the jury. He manipulated, lied, and carefully thought through every move of his strategy. Each member of the jury was eliminated from the game as a result of Russell's authority. But when it came time for the jury to vote for the winner, Russell did not receive a single vote... on either season! Why? Because at the heart and core of the jury, they are looking for character; they are hoping to find a leader with integrity; they are wanting to support the good guy; the are striving to find righteousness.

I really appreciated Russell's creativity and his zeal for the game. He did not violate any of the established rules of the game (since they are almost non-existent) and he was always focused on how to move ahead toward his goal. It is interesting to see the unwritten rules that the players place on the experience. Russell beat every member of the jury with innovation, manipulation, coercion, and intimidation. These same weapons of survivor cost him the ultimate prize.

Some leaders in organizations make the same mistakes in life. The goal for the Russell leader is to defeat the competition and avoid being voted out. Relationship are secondary if not tertiary. Integrity is not to be valued above profit. Success is defined in terms of how well you played the game, not in terms of the kind of impact your life might leave on the game. Daddy Warbucks expressed this rather succinctly in the Broadway show, Annie, "You don't have to be nice to people on the way up, if you're not planning on coming back down."

But if you hope to leave a legacy; if your goal is to impact the lives of others; if you strive to be a servant leader; if your reputation is priceless in your personal economy, then relationships are paramount.... building friendships is important.... constructing a culture of collaboration is a top priority.... influencing, modeling, coaching, and mentoring others is a key to your victory.

Every leader wants to win. No visionary dreams about losing or failing. But some leaders define winning in different ways. When we get to the end, does the scorecard reflect the number of buildings erected, the financial assets on the balance sheet, the awards and blue ribbons in the trophy case, or does it reflect the number of lives that have been changed because of the compassion and love of the people in the organization, the sense of doing something significant in the world, and the strong bond of kindred spirits striving together to stand strong to shared convictions.

Is the game of life about Survival or Sacrifice? Is it about Outwitting and Outlasting or about Outgiving and Outloving? Can we play the game in such a way as to reach the top, but lose the prize? What will the jury say about our leadership?

Survivor Logo downloaded from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_%28U.S._TV_series%29

Do You Speak the Language?

I had a high school freshman young lady write me a note on the last day of school after taking my Algebra 1 final exam. It was a lovely expression of appreciate for the class and my support to her as a student. It was not hard to encourage her...she was smart and diligent and attentive in class. She has graduated from high school, is happily married a fine young man, and is off to explore new worlds of life and adventure...but I still have that note tucked away in an encouragement folder. When I get discouraged or nostalgic, I open that folder and reflect on the words of impact.

Isn't it interesting to think about the things that motivate us? Different things motivate different people. A small token of appreciation can thrill one employee while taking some time to merely listen to a concern from Employee B communicates the value you place on them. I recently heard a teacher in my school share that they were ready to "sign up for another ten years" after they received an email from a former student telling of the impact that the school had on his career and marriage.

Gary Chapman has written an interesting book entitled, The Five Love Languages (1992). I think the book was originally written to help spouses better understand their marriage partners, but I propose that these languages will help leaders understand significant ways to communicate to their employees. One of the major characteristics of servant leadership is to value people....and a key to valuing people is the accurate communication of that value to each person in the organization. The better the leader understands and begins to speak in the love language of his/her people, the more effective the leader will be in demonstrating value to the company's work force.

Gary Chapman identifies five distinct languages that individual speak. Any individual may talk in several dialects, but usually there is a dominate language that most effectively communicates love to our inner most being. If this concept is new to you, see if you can identify your language in my brief definitions. But more importantly, as a leader, see if you can begin to identify the languages of your people. Then begin "to speak" the value that you hold for your employees in terms that they will understand.

1. The Language of Words of Affirmation - Words of praise... acknowledgment and celebration of achievement... kudos in front of the peers... a note filled with deep appreciation for a job well done.... positive, sincere, and genuine encouragements from the boss. These are the kind of affirmations that communicate to some people that they are valued and needed. Some say that "words are cheep," but to the one who speaks this language, words are priceless and can serve as huge sources of motivation and inspiration. Who do you work with that speaks this language?

2. The Language of Physical Touch - extreme care must be given in speaking this language, but a leader must be aware of this powerful way of expressing value to his/her employees. A handshake, high five, or pat on the back can send a kinesthetic message of great importance to those who respond to physical touch. I had a class mate during my doctoral studies that made sure our cohort had a group hug at the end of each of our courses to celebrate our accomplishments and to affirm our commitment to help each other. There is great danger in speaking the language of physical touch with employees of the opposite sex and the wise leader will find other indirect ways to express it.

3. The Language of Quality Time - some employees need to spend time with the boss in order to feel in the loop, to experience trust, and to know that they have been heard. Undivided attention... engaged conversation... focused listening. Those who do not speak this language would rather be left alone and often keep put of the way of the boss. But "quality time speakers" need this interaction to feel valued by the organization. Certainly confidentiality must be guarded with integrity and appearances of favoritism must be avoided, but some employees are highly motivated when they sense they are in the loop of information and up-to-date on the projects under their responsibility.

4. The Language of Acts of Service - some employees are overwhelmed when the boss rolls up his/her sleeves and works along side others in getting the task done. The CEO on the shop floor; the principal setting up chairs for the concert; the foreman getting his/her hands dirty with the crew can communicate great value to the workers and help dismiss the disconnect between the ivory tower and the fighting of the dragons. Often this language is spoken by providing what the employees needs (not necessarily what they want).

5. The Language of Gifts - this language (particularly in the context of business) is widely spoken and appreciated. Even a small token like a company shirt, a mug, a free lunch, a surprise do-nut break or a special pen can shout out how much the organization values their people. If you speak the language of gifts, these small expressions are loud voices in your ears. If you don't speak this language, then these token might appear nice, but rather meaningless in the big picture of feeling wanted and valued.

How well does the leader know his/her people? How many love languages does the leader speak on a regular basis. What is the point of giving gifts if anyone is needing words of affirmation? More than likely all five languages are being spoken to any given organization. A wise leader will discern who speaks what language; and then attempt to demonstrate the value he/she places on each employee via the appropriate dialect.

Choose Between the Two

If you had to choose between the two, which would you select?

Organizational Growth.... or Organizational Integrity
Profit.... or Quality
Short-term Success or Long-term Stability
MVP... or a Championship
Deception... or Failure
Collaboration with limited expansion... or top down decision making with major expansion

These parings are not meant to be polar opposites nor mutually exclusive, but rather they represent choices to help us think through some major assumptions in our leadership.

Growth or Integrity. The answer seems fairly obvious to me. The correct answer is integrity! But I find it pretty easy to rationalize away a less than integritous decision with arguments of common practice and financial necessities. A decision based on favoritism in order to secure a financial contribution; a slight breaking of the rules in order to help the big picture of the organization; the blurring of the lines between the immoral and the illegal, so that "if it is not illegal, it must ethical."

Profit or Quality. Again the obvious answer seems to be quality. But if quality means lay-offs and economic down-turns, profit might be a matter of survival. If a small decrease in quality will produce a stronger financial spreadsheet and competitive freedom, then a focus on profit might be the better position. Without a balanced profit margin, the organization will not be able to continue and thus produce no quality at all. These first two pairs seems to have a lot in common.

Short-term or Long-term. Which is more important - tomorrow or 10 years from now? The obvious answer is, YES! Without short term success there is no long-term stability. Often times the change that is needed or the movement that is essential to organizational health is stymied by the desire to preserve stability. On the other hand short-sighted decisions or impulsive moves can hinder and even destroy promising organizations.

MVP or a Championship. Personal accomplishments and professional accolades - how great it is to hear genuine words of appreciation and encouragement from others. I never get tire of hearing, "Great job!" The gold star on top of my paper in elementary school was a huge source of intrinsic motivation for that little boy from West Virginia. The gold star today comes in the form of honesty affirmation from those I admire and respect. But are words of encouragement the quintessential goal of leadership? Or is it the culture of victory for the team. LeBron James just won the MVP award in the NBA for the second year in row - but he has failed to go to the big dance and win a championship. He is considering leaving the Cavaliers, not to get a bigger pay check, but to join a team that might lead to the RING. How important is team... and unity... and victory for the company.

Deception or Failure. The worst result in American culture is failure. Most people would rather quit their job, leave the area, move to a foreign country or another planet, than to fail. So when the possibility of failure presents itself with the only solution being bending the truth and proclaiming a small (or large) source of deception as truth, on which side of the this pairing do we find ourselves. As a positive spin is put on a very negative situation in hopes that the drastic reality will be mystically turned in sunshine, others find themselves in the dark or devastated when the truth comes out. What about those who never know about the deception because the situation resolves without disaster? Is a little deception acceptable if all things work out ok? Maybe honest failure is a better option to success with the veil of dishonesty.

Collaboration or Top-down. Collaboration can take planning and and time...often lots of time of spinning wheels. Weigh-in results in buy-in, but most organizations cannot run as a democracy. Delegating with authority involves a huge risk - they might do it the wrong way, or take a different path than I would desire. It is so much easier, faster and more efficient to do it myself. Micro-management gets a bad rap - it provides quality control, an emphasis on detail, and an accountability for accuracy. It also results in poor morale, cold water on personal motivation, a lack of feeling valued and an atmosphere of distrust. This choice is a delicate balance that must be evaluated, protected and constantly reviewed.

Who said that leadership was easy? No one!

The Choices of Downsizing

"I am sorry to tell you that our estimated enrollment is down 68 students for next year. We are anticipating having to cut our faculty by at least three full-time people. As principals, you need to begin thinking about these cuts as contracts will be issued in the next three weeks. Be prepared with your recommendations by next Tuesday"

These are nightmare words for a private school principal. How does a leader let a trusted employee go? In these tough economic times, many Christian schools across the nation are losing enrollment and thus are faced with downsizing the faculty. These personnel decisions are not just matters of seniority, experience and academic credentials - they are choices involving friends, colleagues, kindred spirits, brothers and sisters in the ministry. These are decisions that shake the emotional core of your heart; that pound away at your soul; that keep you awake at night with a mind racing to find some answer to save jobs.

The superintendent wants your suggestions on Tuesday, so you play out as many scenarios as possible and all of them leave you feeling empty when you draw the bottom line. Veteran teachers in positions of vulnerability.... new teachers with zeal and that something special but on the bottom of the experience ladder.... close friends - your kids grew up together in the school and played on the same basketball team... sacrificial teachers who love their students and have poured their lives into the ministry. There seems to be no right answer!! And yet your suggestions are submitted

The other side of this economic coin is painful as well. As one of teachers on the short list, how do you make sense of a termination? There was not a negative job evaluation, no reprimand for unwise classroom management, no complaints from parents, no rumblings from discontented students.

"I'm sorry Dave, but because of a downturn in student enrollment and the necessity to live within a balanced budget, I do not have a contract to offer you this year." How do you take that news, assimilate it, evaluate it and embrace it? How do you go home and tell your spouse that you need to find a new job for next year? How do you tell you children that you might have to move away from their friends?

How do you deal with feelings of disappointment, betrayal and anger? If the announcement comes from left-field somewhere and has caught you in a blind-side, how do you catch your balance and maintain your equilibrium? Tears of reality...cries of unfairness...words of frustration... the silence of numbness. Where is the band-aid to make it feel all better?

Both sides of this coin need the grace of God! Making the decision and receiving the decision must be accomplished in the presence of the sovereignty of God. Neither the situation nor the decision have caught God off-guard. He is in control even in the midst of chaos. It is in these times when the words of the hymn writer are tested, "Trust and Obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to Trust and Obey."

The closing of one chapter means the opening of another. Positive change often occurs because it is forced upon us. Decisions made for outside of our control should push us and pull us into the presence of God. These kinds of surprises can allow us to see with glasses of discernment, if we seek the will of God in the midst on confusion. Life-altering changes like these are ways that God can use to shape our character, direct our steps, and move us on to another adventure in faith.

For the decision maker: pray, pray, pray and then trust God for his gracious plan in the lives of your colleagues. For the decision recipient: pray, pray, pray and then hold on... your next chapter in God's amazing race in your life is about to begin.

You're Fired drawing from - http://www.examiner.com/x-3804-Baltimore-Family-Travel-Examiner~y2009m5d21-5-reasons-to-fire-your-travel-agent

Two Brothers - Two Leaders

Joseph and Michael were brothers - born two years apart. Joseph, the younger, entered the world in 1922 while Michael ushered in the Roaring 20's on January 12th. They were born into a blue collar family nestled in a lower/middle-class neighborhood in Pittsburgh, PA. The boys were close. Oh, they fought like brothers, argued over who was strongest, and were fierce competitors in everything from jacks to stick ball to school work. Both boys were smart and articulate; both could argue and rationalize; both were filled with potential and promise. However, as the adult years past, Joseph matured as a talented engineer in White Plains, New York while Michael spent most of his time in railroad cars, back streets and even jail.

What happened in the lives of these two young men that caused such divergent lifestyle paths. It was World War II - but it wasn't the monstrosities of battle or the diabolical evils of a Nazi prison camp. It wasn't the influence of Hitler or Stalin or Mussolini. Rather, it was the impact of American leaders - one was transformational, the other filled with destruction.

In 1941 both brothers were attending college, no small feat for a blue collar home in the 40s. Joseph was in Rock Island, Illinois attending Augustana College. Michael was a student at Alleghney College, in Meadville, PA. The news of Pearl Harbor ignited both men as each found himself signing up for military service. Joseph joined the Army Corp of Engineers and found himself rebuilding bridges in France and England. Michael joined the US Navy. He served on the aircraft carrier, the USS Hornet, in the battle of Midway. Both brothers survived the war without physical injury, but both came home changed on the inside.

Joseph met Bill Henderson, his commanding officer. Bill loved his men; he was committed to each soldier. Bill had a plan, worked alongside his engineers, motivated his platoon and lived a life of honor and integrity before them all. Bill earned Joseph's respect from the first day they met. Joseph saw a picture of leadership that impacted him to the core of his being. Bill created a unity and brotherhood among his soldiers that established bonds that lasted a lifetime. Joseph left college to become a soldier. He returned from the war as a man who had experienced great challenge and hardship and yet accomplished great victories within a supportive team of professionals.

Michael met Ensign John Kubic. As Ensign, John was an officer, responsible for leading a group of petty officers and enlisted men in the ship's navigational division. John, however, was not a stellar officer and found ways to use his position to avoid responsibility and abuse his authority. John liked Michael, took him under his wing, but ended up involving Michael in several unethical decisions that impacted the lives and careers of his crew. Before the war had ended John and Michael were both dishonorably discharged from military service. The shame of this black mark on Michael's life made coming home very difficult, so he didn't. He drifted from place to place; work was hard to find for a vet without honor; he tried to run, but the endless road lead to loneliness and despair.

The impact of the leader goes far beyond the success or failure of an organization - it goes to the heart of individuals; the lifestyles and mindsets of employees and customers; the decisions of individuals under the guidance of those with positions of authority. The words and actions of the leader are heard and seen by far more people than the leader realizes. The leader should never minimize or underestimate the power of his life. The impact might be upon the leader's assistant or the 10-year son of the assistant who hears the leader's comments to his dad. The life-changing impact might occur in the heart of the CEO's secretary as she sees his sacrifice and commitment or in the heart of the CEO's daughter when he cancels all appointments to be on time for her dance recital.

The pebble of leadership might seem small to the leader, but the ripples of impact canresult in waves of change in the lives of many.

Music Man Measures

The last two major songs were upon us. It had been a long day of performance including a matinee and now an evening setting. The crowd was responsive and the cast was singing like it was closing night (and it was). I was tired, but I didn't sense a lack of focus. As an orchestra member, I had played these songs countless times over the past two months of practice. The conductor gave the downbeat and the band played with precision. I played the opening section without error. After four measures of rest, I was to continue playing. I counted my four measures and rest and began to play loudly and aggressively (as the music required), but by some mysterious error I came in a measure early to my embarrassment. I had never made that mistake before! I could have caused a major train wreck in the music, but fortunately none of the rest of the musicians followed my impulsive lead.

The last major song is a beautiful love ballad between the two major characters - soft and romantic. The strings set the mood for this final climatic expression of tenderness. The music begins quietly and then continues to build to a fitting conclusion of the musical's love story. My part was to help build the music toward the dramtic conclusion. Again I counted my rests; I had never blown this transition in any practice session or performance....so with great confidence I played my beautiful melodic line with rich and full volume....one measure too early!! Not again...not two songs in a row. Fortunately, no one else followed my stupidity and I don't think I messed up the vocalists, but the "pit" was not a big enough hole for me to hide in. "Want to get away?" I could have done a commercial on the spot! I was the source of "trouble, right here in River City."

Yes, I have just finished playing in the pit orchestra for a high school presentation of Meredith Wilson's "Music Man." The cast and crew did an exceptional job in performing this classical musical at the Victoria Theater, an historical venue in downtown Dayton, OH . The orchestra, made up of students and adults, provided a rich, full sound and a high quality execution of the score. It was such a privilege to be part of the performances.

Music provides me with so many insights into leadership and followship; and this musical was no exception. There is no better example of team work than a dramatic presentation. Those on stage are supported by a lighting crew, a group of costumers, a stage crew, those in charge of make-up, hairdressers, directors, and, of course, the pit orchestra. Every group must do its job, and do it to perfection, if the performance is to be wonderful. If any group fails to execute, the whole presentation suffers. So it is in any organization.

Each group is a team within the overall team. The orchestra is a team of individual musicians that must listen to one another, play in tune with each other, and follow the direction of the conductor. Although our major role is to provide support to the cast and the musical foundations for their vocal performance, the orchestra takes pride in its instrumental interpretation of the musical score. My stupid mistakes did not just result in my personal embarrassment, but it marred the entire orchestra's effectiveness.

The orchestra is made up of very talented musicians, but to be effective each one must follow the conductor and submit to his tempos and downbeats. In an organization, each member must use his/her talents to play the music of the company. When it comes to your part, play with skill and play in harmony with others. Coming in early and jumping the gun before the rest of the group can cause major organizational disruption (and personal shame). Coming in late can cause similar ineffectiveness. Preparation and precision are real keys in the pit and on the job.