Do You Speak the Language?

I had a high school freshman young lady write me a note on the last day of school after taking my Algebra 1 final exam. It was a lovely expression of appreciate for the class and my support to her as a student. It was not hard to encourage her...she was smart and diligent and attentive in class. She has graduated from high school, is happily married a fine young man, and is off to explore new worlds of life and adventure...but I still have that note tucked away in an encouragement folder. When I get discouraged or nostalgic, I open that folder and reflect on the words of impact.

Isn't it interesting to think about the things that motivate us? Different things motivate different people. A small token of appreciation can thrill one employee while taking some time to merely listen to a concern from Employee B communicates the value you place on them. I recently heard a teacher in my school share that they were ready to "sign up for another ten years" after they received an email from a former student telling of the impact that the school had on his career and marriage.

Gary Chapman has written an interesting book entitled, The Five Love Languages (1992). I think the book was originally written to help spouses better understand their marriage partners, but I propose that these languages will help leaders understand significant ways to communicate to their employees. One of the major characteristics of servant leadership is to value people....and a key to valuing people is the accurate communication of that value to each person in the organization. The better the leader understands and begins to speak in the love language of his/her people, the more effective the leader will be in demonstrating value to the company's work force.

Gary Chapman identifies five distinct languages that individual speak. Any individual may talk in several dialects, but usually there is a dominate language that most effectively communicates love to our inner most being. If this concept is new to you, see if you can identify your language in my brief definitions. But more importantly, as a leader, see if you can begin to identify the languages of your people. Then begin "to speak" the value that you hold for your employees in terms that they will understand.

1. The Language of Words of Affirmation - Words of praise... acknowledgment and celebration of achievement... kudos in front of the peers... a note filled with deep appreciation for a job well done.... positive, sincere, and genuine encouragements from the boss. These are the kind of affirmations that communicate to some people that they are valued and needed. Some say that "words are cheep," but to the one who speaks this language, words are priceless and can serve as huge sources of motivation and inspiration. Who do you work with that speaks this language?

2. The Language of Physical Touch - extreme care must be given in speaking this language, but a leader must be aware of this powerful way of expressing value to his/her employees. A handshake, high five, or pat on the back can send a kinesthetic message of great importance to those who respond to physical touch. I had a class mate during my doctoral studies that made sure our cohort had a group hug at the end of each of our courses to celebrate our accomplishments and to affirm our commitment to help each other. There is great danger in speaking the language of physical touch with employees of the opposite sex and the wise leader will find other indirect ways to express it.

3. The Language of Quality Time - some employees need to spend time with the boss in order to feel in the loop, to experience trust, and to know that they have been heard. Undivided attention... engaged conversation... focused listening. Those who do not speak this language would rather be left alone and often keep put of the way of the boss. But "quality time speakers" need this interaction to feel valued by the organization. Certainly confidentiality must be guarded with integrity and appearances of favoritism must be avoided, but some employees are highly motivated when they sense they are in the loop of information and up-to-date on the projects under their responsibility.

4. The Language of Acts of Service - some employees are overwhelmed when the boss rolls up his/her sleeves and works along side others in getting the task done. The CEO on the shop floor; the principal setting up chairs for the concert; the foreman getting his/her hands dirty with the crew can communicate great value to the workers and help dismiss the disconnect between the ivory tower and the fighting of the dragons. Often this language is spoken by providing what the employees needs (not necessarily what they want).

5. The Language of Gifts - this language (particularly in the context of business) is widely spoken and appreciated. Even a small token like a company shirt, a mug, a free lunch, a surprise do-nut break or a special pen can shout out how much the organization values their people. If you speak the language of gifts, these small expressions are loud voices in your ears. If you don't speak this language, then these token might appear nice, but rather meaningless in the big picture of feeling wanted and valued.

How well does the leader know his/her people? How many love languages does the leader speak on a regular basis. What is the point of giving gifts if anyone is needing words of affirmation? More than likely all five languages are being spoken to any given organization. A wise leader will discern who speaks what language; and then attempt to demonstrate the value he/she places on each employee via the appropriate dialect.