Listen All Extroverts

Extroverts make good leaders. At least that's what I continue to read in the literature that explores some of the traits of effective leadership. I suppose that extroversion really assists an individual in feeling comfortable and even energized by exposure and interaction with people. One concern I have is the equating of extroversion with social conversation. I have met numerous people who love to talk, but fail to offer good leadership. In fact, their desire to talk is often a detriment to their influence on others.

I have found that the need to talk and to be heard can actually impede the effectiveness of vision casting and organizational change. A case in point - I was recently involved in a group conversation regarding an important aspect of organizational life. At one point in the conversation two individuals were exchanging ideas on a particular point. Individual A was dominating the exchange. Individual B was patient to listen and then found a spot in the dialog to share his perspective. He was right in the middle of his explanation, when Individual A interrupted and took the conversation in another direction. I saw the eyes of Individual B and it was obvious that he had disengaged his ears and the conversation was over - even though Individual A continued to wax elegantly for another few minutes.

It is good to have Survivor back on the air for another season. I find it a fascinating look at leadership and personal relationships. The first episode was a classic for the pitfalls of talking too much. At the initial tribal council, it looked like Jimmy Johnson was going to be voted out, but then Wendy decided she needed to defend herself from elimination. Her defense went on and on and on. She shot herself in the Survivor foot and earned herself a unanimous vote off the island. Extroversion can be a positive trait if combined with Social and Emotional Intelligence. But a lack of sensitivity to others and a distorted view of the importance of your viewpoint, can cause a potential leader to lose his/her platform of influence.

Extroverted people are fun to be around and awkward silence is rarely an issue when they are around, but I often times find myself questioning their depth of insight and even their credibility. Extroverts sometimes struggle with listening skills because of their tendency to think about how to interject themselves into the current conversation/situation. I cringe when I see a leader failing to hear...failing even to attempt to hear... a colleague or a stakeholder. A dialogue that turns into a monologue is like a tree with no fruit - disappointing when you're hungry and thirsty for fresh new ideas.

I find my foot in my mouth far to often, but if I don't open my mouth, it is so much harder to insert my size 10. Impulsive comments expressed because of a desire to keep a conversation moving along, can sometimes backfire with misunderstandings and confusion. Ready...fire...aim is a funny statement about how some people handle relationships. They engage their skills of conversation without taking the time to aim at a specific target. Firing off a comment too quickly can result in striking a recipient with criticism, offense, or even injury of the heart. Careless words of extroversion can implode on a leader causing a lack of positive impact.

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

extrovert art found at http://peoplemaps.typepad.com/job_seekers_tips/2006/05/are_you_an_extr.html