Failing: A Common Leadership Experience

Success is so easy to experience. When things go well and complements are handed out, life is good and the sun is shinning. But failure is much more difficult. The taste of blowing it is bitter indeed. Being optimistic in the face of frowns, stares and disappointments is one of the hardest challenges that a leader has to face. And yet, every leader has been there. It is a place where all of us go no matter how hard and how much time we spend trying to stay away.

There is a huge difference between failing and being a failure. Everyone fails from time to time, but there is always the option of getting up and trying again. Those that refuse to take the road of the second chance (or third, fourth....tenth...hundredth) are those who experience failure. “Blowing it” can be one of the greatest learning doors that one can enter. Although I never plan to knock, when the door opens and I am pushed through it by my own lack of planning, stupid choice, dearth of wisdom, or miscommunication, I discover times of growth and professional development. As much as I hate the pain and embarrassment of falling short, failing can make me a better leader. Failing can be a building experience, if I am determined to learn from mistakes (big ones or small ones).

I have discovered two keys that have helped me unlock the value of failing. First, is to take responsibility for my actions. With a leadership position comes the expectations of performance. If I do not measure up and if I let the stakeholders of my organization down, I owe them a statement of my inconsistency. To blame shift, or to rationalize, or to put a positive spin on a negative situation, does not reflect integrity and honesty. People response so positively to honesty; but if they feel that they have been deceived, a spirit of mistrust is quickly developed and is difficult to overcome.

Which leads to the second key of finding value in failing: seeking forgiveness, As a leader takes responsibility, it leads naturally to seeking forgiveness. But many leaders miss this step. Those who take the initiative of admitting responsibility for failure, often stop short of asking the offended stakeholders for their forgiveness. I have found that a humble statement of responsibility and a genuine appeal for the forgiveness of others meets with open arms of reconciliation and support. Instead of finding condemnation, which is a major fear of admitting a shortcoming, a leaders' apology brings about understanding, acceptance and assistance.

Most leaders experience a mountain of administrivia that is too high for anyone to climb and so impossible to accomplish all the tasks on the “to do” list. With too many balls in the air, it is only a matter of time before a ball is dropped. Sometimes the dropped ball is a small detail that can be ignored; but sometimes the dropped ball is explosive and causes a major problem in the organization. Not everyone will forgive. Sometimes the blunder will have significant consequences. And yet the leader's best approach is to take responsibility and seek forgiveness for his/her actions.