Leaving with Grace

No particular leadership position lasts forever. Sometimes strong leaders stay with an organization for decades; others leave after just a few years. Effective leaders might find themselves with long-term tenures or short-term opportunities to impact an organization. Many factors come to play in determining the longevity of a leader. Although the media declares failures with headlines, very few leaders find their time cut short because of moral or ethical errors. Most move on because of timing, or circumstances, or internal change. Some depart because they feel their effectiveness is over and/or another challenge calls their name. Still other leaders leave because an influential individual within the organization senses that the leader's effectiveness is waning.

But, regardless of the reason, there seems to be a dichotomy in the way leaders leave. Some depart with grace and celebration; others leave with tension and awkwardness. Despite the method and approach of the organization, some leaders have a way of submitting a resignation that reflects maturity and respect. The gracious leader has the ability to know when to leave and how to depart with honor and head held high. I have recently observed some strong examples of maturity and integrity - they have been an encouragement to me.

Early in my career, I left four different organizations. The first departure occurred after just the first year of employment. It was a matter of a bad fit between my gifts and the job responsibilities. As a result of my lack of maturity and experience, combined with a boss that took no time to mentor me, my departure was necessary. The second resulted because of a refusal of the organization's board to approve a direction that I felt God calling me to follow. I needed to leave in order to be obedient to what I knew God was directing me to do. The third resignation was rather complicated with several dynamics, but basically the organization wanted a person with more letters after his/her name. The fourth and final move for me resulted from a false accusation of favoritism, fueled by jealousy and misunderstanding. After successfully working through the accusation and resolving any issues of character, I found that I had lost my passion for the position. In all four of these situations, I moved on with only a few in my inner circle who knew the real issues.

Those involved in the organization always want to know the details behind a leader's departure, but very few will come to know all the real reasons for the separation. A gracious leader will not air the dirty laundry of the company, or the disagreements that resulted in his/her decision to move on, or the pressure placed upon him/her that made a resignation necessary. Others within the organization might see that as dishonest or sweeping truth under the rug. From the leader's perspective, it is carefully withholding a perspective that is not held by those who are moving ahead. Dissension and division serve no one as the organization tries to refocus and regroup.

The wise and gracious organization will not share the reasons for departure either. Tactful statements can be proclaimed in truth and designed to support the outgoing leader without having to point fingers of disagreement and negativism. Total disclosure should be provided to the leader, but the stakeholders need not be informed of every point of disagreement.

Those receiving the news of a leader's retirement, resignation, or replacement need to be careful not to push for details that they really have no right to know. In this society which demands the rights of individuals, sometime we feel that we DO have a right to know all the details. Out of respect for the leader who is moving on; for the leadership that remains; and for the health of the organization, stakeholders should most often honor the official statements as sufficient. The need for confidentiality often prohibits (and rightfully so) some of the behind-the-scenes realities from being discussed by those outside of the circle of those who need to know. Stakeholders need to resist the temptation of prying for all the gory details. If moral failure or illegal activity is involved, then the organization must be careful to disclose a minimum amount of information to clarify its actions and protect future employers from a seemingly positive reference. But stakeholders must be careful to avoid becoming busybodies hoping to pry for truth or, worse, to thrive on the gossip of others.

Leaving is rarely easy, rarely without tension, and rarely without disagreement, but leaving can be filled with honor and grace. Lord, help me to know when it is time to go; help me to leave with blessings and tears of fellowship; help me to leave with grace and celebration.

artwork found at http://www.abanet.org/media/youraba/200712/article05.html