Noah is my terrific two-year old grandson. He is full of life and experiences every event with such enthusiasm. He is so focused at times that he doesn't listen very well. He loves Veggie Tales and with certain videos he gets so excited that he will touch the TV screen. Dad does not like that and corrects Noah behavior.
“Noah, don't touch the TV.” Within moments, Noah's excitement expresses itself with anothertouch on the screen. “Noah,” dad says in disbelief, “what did I just say? Don't touch the TV. Noah, what did daddy say?” Noah's quick response is, “don't know.” So Dad patiently explains why it is not good to hit the TV and why it is important to sit down on the couch to watch the movie. I have to smile when observing Noah's struggle with listening skills ...until it begins to hit home. How well do I listen? How many times do I tune out the needs of others with the excitement of life.
A friend of mine recently shared that the word silent and the word listen have the same letters just in a different order. How important it is to be silent in order to truly listen. Often when we are not talking, we are still thinking about what we are going to say when the opportunity presents itself. Taking time to be silent is hard and often awkward. The tendency to share the “right answer” too soon without hearing the heart of the other person can short circuit the listening process. Listening involves a great deal of effort in order to concentrate on what the other person is saying. How easy it is to lose attention to the words of others as our mind takes us away with alternate thoughts . Various stimuli, whether auditory, visual or even coming from the sense of smell or from the temperature in the room, can pull our focus away from the communication at hand.
Effective leadership depends on effective listening. According to Robert Greenleaf (1991), one of the key cornerstones of servant leadership is listening. Careful listening can allow the leader to not only discern the thinking of individual followers, but also the pulse of the organization. Listening to the perspectives of others is vital for leadership but taking time to listen to one's own inner voice is also imperative for the leader. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe that that inner voice is the voice of the Holy Spirit. Taking time to pray and to be silent before God is the greatest listen skills needed for leaders today.
Listening is both a discipline and an art. Counselors tell me that good listening takes lots of practice. Knowing the right questions to ask in order to discover what is really on someone's mind is not not an easy skill to obtain. Listening for the emotion behind the words requires sensitivity and discernment. Listening in the midst of organizational life demands the ability to set aside the busyness of business in order to provide a solitary focus on the voice of others.
Greenleaf, R.K. (1991). The servant as leader Indianapolis, IN; The Robert Greenleaf Center.
Listen graphic found at http://www.studyzone.org/testprep/ela4/i/folloraldirl.cfm
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