Leadership is Empathy - Greenleaf Pt 2

I walked into his office, greeted with a handshake and a friendly smile. “Have a seat, Dave. Can I get you a cup of tea or something cold to drink?” After a bit of chit-chat about some of the activities of the past week, he shared, “Dave, I sense that you have come in to talk about something heavy on your heart, what's on your mind?” During the conversation that pursued, he was focused on my words and thoughts. Although he did not always agree and even challenged my thinking on a few things, I knew that he was really trying to understand my position. At the end of the time together, I left confident that we were on the same team, working toward the same goal.

A few days later, I had a regularly scheduled meeting with another leader in the organization. The offer of a soft drink and some preliminary chat-chat was similar to the other leader's approach. But when we began talking about business, I quickly felt overwhelmed with barrage of questions and demands for up-dates on progress that had been made. Instead of a sharing of concerns and a collaborative spirit, there was an atmosphere of intimidation. He did not always agree and he challenged my thinking without really trying to understand my position. At the end of our time together, I felt that we were on opposing sides forced to do things his way.

In my experience with leaders over the years, I have found some to be very good listeners...and some that seem to have hearing loss. I have shared ideas and concerns with some leaders that communicated with me by providing their attention and focus to my comments.... while others appear distracted and even irritated during the conversation.But even with good listeners, there are those leaders that have a deeper ability, not just to understand my concerns, but also to empathize with my situation.

Empathy, one of Greenleaf's (1991) characteristics of servant leadership, enables leaders to communicate the value they place on others. People need to feel accepted and desire to be recognized for their special and unique contributions to the organization. Employees deeply appreciate leaders that are interested, not only in their work productivity, but also their personal lives. A leader's interest in an employee's family life, church activities and personal health communicates the concern and value that the leader places on the individual.

Empathy certainly goes beyond a personal concern for the employee. Empathetic listening in regard to working conditions, professional relationships, and creative ideas is essential for building the trust and confidence of others. How can a leader who does not understand you, represent you in organizational decisions? How can you trust a leader to institute change on your behalf, when you are not confident he values you as an employee? Empathy is a characteristic that every servant leader must develop. The skill and practice of empathetic listening should be a major focus in the office of every organizational leader.

There is, however, a dark side of empathy that must be recognized. Empathy often makes decision making more cumbersome. Desiring to be sensitive to the feelings and perspectives of others, the leader may find that information gathering can be a slow and long process. Some decisions need a quick response and decisive action. Some difficult decisions will not please everybody. Effective empathy engages one's emotions – but emotions are not always the best basis for decision making. Empathetic listening can confuse the facts. How important it is to consider the heart; to listen with deep convictions, to demonstrate great support and understanding of others; but leaders must carefully utilize their listening for the benefit of all...in order to accomplish the purpose and the shared vision of the organization.

Greenleaf, R.K. (1991). The servant as leader Indianapolis, IN; The Robert Greenleaf Center.

Empathy Graphic found at http://philosophy.fullerton.edu/EmpathyMain.htm