This week’s episode was all about diet and wise eating habits. But the leadership lesson was clear: decision making and verbal communication reap important consequences. The show began with Alison asking for two leaders from each group to represent their team in a challenge. One member from each team immediately raised their hands. After a little prodding from Alison, the other two players volunteered to join the challenge. The contest involved guessing the total percentage of weight loss for the entire team at the weigh-in later in the week. The team representatives were to bid (like a card game); each team raising the other until one team folded giving the bid to their opponents. If the winning team accomplished the goal of their bid, they got a 5 pound advantage at the weigh-in; but if they failed to reach the goal, the other team received the 5 pound advantage.
Historically, the first week on the ranch results in a large percentage of weight loss by every player. Week two has always produced a much lower percentage (2% is fairly common). Kim and Kimmy, representing the Red Team, immediately bid 3.8% equaling a total weight loss of 94 lbs. The black team quickly folded confident that the red team could not lose that many pounds in the second week.
When Dolvett, the red team’s trainer, heard of the results of the challenge, he was shocked at the bid and acknowledged that the goal would be terribly difficult to accomplish. However, he used it as motivation for the team. He wrote the goal on the arms of the contestants; he taped “94 Pounds” on their T-shirts; he even spray painted it on the walls. He was so vocal about the goal, yelling constantly about the need to lose 94 pounds, that the black team became tired of hearing all the ranting. Kim and Kimmy were so confident that their team members could reach the goal, but they became quite concerned about being responsible for setting the bar so high.
Their concern was not misplaced, as the red team fell very short of the goal – as a team they dropped a little over 50 lbs and a total weight loss 2.09%. Not only did the black team win the 5 lbs advantage, but also the weigh-in as a whole. If it were not for the 5 pound advantage, the red team would have won the weigh-in and the black team would have been forced to vote out a team member. Instead, the red team headed for the elimination room. Kim was the red team player that lost the least amount of weight and she was concerned that her team would send her home. It looked pretty bleak for the two leaders because of the decisions they had made.
However, leadership is often more about relationships than it is about tasks. Bad decision making can certainly result in bad consequences. But positive relationships within the team can counteract a bad choice as the team offers understanding and compassion. Kim and Kimmy were trying to help their team; they made an unwise decision but with pure motivations; and the team understood their hearts.
On the other hand, Mike made two huge mistakes. First, he demonstrated an abrasive personality, a rather rough personality, and a tongue that spoke too quickly. The first week of the game Mike had offended Jeremy (a player on the other team) by calling him “Tank” when Jeremy weighed in for the first time. Jeremy’s sister (Conda) is on Mike’s team and became irate at Mike. Now, at this weigh-in, Conda was more than ready to see Mike go home. The second mistake that cost Mike another week at the ranch was his attitude in the gym. Mike was seen by his teammates as taking too many breaks and failing to put forth his optimal effort. Decisions involving the tongue and choices reflecting a lack of responsibility resulted in an unanimous vote to send Mike home.
Mike Messina was born and raised in San Leandro, California. His half-brother Joe joined him on the ranch with the hope of getting to know each another better. Mike’s weight gain began when he went on the road with his father at age 12, delivering furniture: Mike gained 50 pounds in one summer. Mike admitted at the elimination that he struggled with anger and abandonment issues. He sought the forgiveness of his team as he expressed his sorrow for hurt feelings and strained relationships. Mike arrived at the ranch weighing 358 and in two weeks lost 20 pounds leaving the campus at 338.
Effective leaders strive to build relationships of trust within their team. They can build enough confidence over time that one foolish decision (as long as it is not too severe or immoral) can be dismissed by the organization. The intention of the heart and attitude of the leader can soften a bad decision in the eyes of the followers. Often compassion and understanding are poured out upon humble and honest leadership. However, decisions based in arrogance and expressed in stiff words of anger and coldness bring a leader to the brink of disaster. A vote of confidence is sometimes withheld when trust is broken and responsibility is not evident in the actions of the individual. Mike’s elimination is a good example of losing trust by what you say and how you say it. Decisions involving oral communication can cripple the efforts of potential leadership.
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